To a sister, a friend.
Stuck, tired, weary
of God’s little helpers trying to fix her through prayer.
Facing a situation that refuses to change, a heart that refuses to budge.
To anyone finding themselves in such a place.
I know precisely what you speak of.
but I know this.
I also encounter it all the time in people who show up
at my door and window
most recently in a man with terminal brain cancer in a six month countdown.
He’s been soaked and soaked and soaked with prayer
hears our sermons
and our promises,
and in his thirty years of walking out this Christian thing
he’s never heard God
God is not listening to him now.
circumstances that change,
hearts that bend,
bodies that heal,
pain that skedaddles.
to suffer with others in silence,
to moan the words of Lamentations,
shout the complaints of Job, or
groan the cynicism of Ecclesiastes.
I don’t talk about my neuropathy anymore,
every time I do, people line up to fix me with
and I don’t want to be unkind to them.
I don’t pray over the neuropathy anymore.
Haven’t for a very long time.
Dance for me isn’t a fix,
it’s rebellion and defiance
against the pain I live with
It may already be beckoning…